In this issue:

• This Saturday, February 25 – “Romantic French Dining” at new Café 36 in downtown La Grange
• This Thursday, February 23 – Friends of Friends Famous Martini Party at Vita Mia in Mount Prospect
• Next Friday, March 3 – “Thai Dinner Feast with BYOB Wine Tasting” at Ruby of Siam in Skokie (just south of Old Orchard)
• Next Sunday, March 5 – “Red Carpet Rendezvous” Hollywood Awards Cocktail Party at Aldente Café and Lounge in Chicago’s Lincoln Park
• “Increase Your Dating Possibilities By Breaking Old Habits and Attitudes”

This is our fifth online blog-style newsletter. While we’ve made some progress with the large Internet suppliers (i.e. AOL, MSN and Comcast) in passing the grade to get through their filters, we and everybody else continue to face some problems. Yesterday, AOL stopped some of our E-mails and asked us to pay several hundred dollars a year to be evaluated as to whether we could send our newsletters and invitations to AOL users. There was no assurance that we would be approved if we paid this fee.

I can’t emphasize enough that to make sure you get this newsletter in the future, please add jims@gourmetadvocates.com to your contacts listing or address book. If you don’t get our newsletter on time, you now can link to it online on the Home page of the Gourmet Advocates site at the bottom of the left-hand column.

French, Thai and a Gala Awards Ceremony and Much More

Each week, I talk to some more members and increasingly find that a number of you have been meeting and dating each other. Naturally, that’s a good thing. But, it also means that we need to be adding new people to the club all the time. Today’s column deals with the best way to increase your dating possibilities.

This Saturday, February 25, we head to the new Café 36 in La Grange for a terrific look at French cuisine. The restaurant has the same delightful ambiance as its predecessor, but a new chef, menu and more welcoming new management.

Tomorrow night, February 23, our sister organization, Friends of Friends, will host their Famous Martini Party at Vita Mia on Golf Road in Mount Prospect. Drink specials, an appetizer buffet and music by Enzo Incandela are all included for $7 ($5 for Premier members). More details are at www.FOFSingles.com

Next Friday, March 3, we have a Thai family-style feast and a BYOB wine tasting at Ruby of Siam in Skokie. It is a fun outing to sample three tasty Thai appetizers and four entrees, plus lots of different wines. Anybody who has been to my previous events like this can attest to how much fun they are.

Next Sunday, March 5, we have been lucky enough to secure the lounge area at Aldente Café and Lounge to watch the best Hollywood has to offer collect their awards. It is a dressy affair and an “open party” that is always well attended.

Sign up online for any party at www.gourmetadvocates.com/singlepage.html

This Saturday, February 25, 7:00 – 10:00 p.m.
Unique French Continental Cuisine and Sparkling Conversation at the New
Café 36
22 Calendar Court (just west of LaGrange Rd. facing RR) in LaGrange

Enjoy a unique singles dinner party featuring the creative culinary style of their new chef Jackie Di Cola at Café 36, a classically romantic bistro in LaGrange. Di Cola, who honed her skills at Bistro Banlieue, Bistro Zinc and Dixon’s, has mastered and updated the classic French cooking techniques, intriguing sauces and stocks that combine to create a flavorful French dining experience. Combine this wonderful cuisine, a little wine and some sparkling conversation with the bistro’s inviting ambiance and the welcoming attitude of new owners and proprietors Terry and Carol Jean Gilmer and you have the ingredients for a delightful evening.

Mix and mingle with other single friends, old and new, during a get-acquainted cocktail hour (cash bar), followed by a sit-down dinner in the restaurant’s intimate private salon.

Your evening’s choices of truly distinctive entrees include:

• Salmon Andalouse – Fresh Alaskan Salmon, seared and served in a Spicy Tomato Saffron Broth with Fresh Vegetables and Potatoes
• Center-cut Pork Chop stuffed with Apricots, Onions, and Boursin Cheese served with Crème Fraiche Whipped Potatoes and Asparagus
• Seared Sea Scallops with Saffron Potatoes, French Beans and Harissa Sauce
• Braised Lamb Shank in Lingonberry Sauce served with Red Cabbage and Spaetzle
• Veal “Zurichoise” Sautéed with Shallots, Mushrooms, in a Caper and Cream Sauce served with Red Cabbage and Spaetzle
• Rainbow Trout stuffed with Wild Mushrooms, Crabmeat and Vegetables. With Saffron Rice and a Lemon Beurre Blanc
• Sautéed Pheasant Breast and Wild Mushrooms Flamed with Cognac Truffle Demi-glace served over a Puff Pastry Shell

Also included is a house salad and coffee or tea. Your evening is $43 for dinner, taxes and tips for advance registrations. Guests and non-members are welcome for $45. Advance reservations are very much encouraged, but walk-ups will be accepted for $45. Dressy casual attire. Park on the street or in two nearby lots.

Sign up online for this party at www.gourmetadvocates.com/singlepage.html.

Friday, March 3, 7:30- 10:00 p.m.
An Affordable Tour of Marvelous Thai Cuisine and
a BYOB Wine Tasting at the Highly Regarded
Ruby of Siam
9420 Skokie Boulevard in Skokie
(1 ½ Blocks South of Old Orchard in the Fashion Mall)

The Gourmet Advocates host a family-style Thai dinner and wine get-together at Ruby of Siam, one of the finest Thai restaurants in the area.

Join single friends old and new in intimate surroundings. Ruby of Siam is known for wonderful food that rates 4-forks from the Chicago Tribune. Upon arriving, we will go directly to our tables to be seated. We’ll share a variety of flavorful dishes in the traditional Thai fashion. Sharing the wine has become a popular Gourmet Advocates tradition. Your dinner will include:

• Traditional Chicken Tom Yum Soup

Plus two popular appetizers:

• Barbecued Chicken Satay with Peanut Sauce
• Spring Rolls with Vegetables and Chinese Sausage

And several entrées to share:

• Shrimp Red Curry – Sweet, Thai Eggplant, Bamboo Shoots and Sweet Basil Sautéed in Coconut Milk with Traditional Spices
• Beef Sautéed with Garlic and Peppers
• Basil Duck – Sautéed Roasted Duck with Basil Leaves
• Traditional Pad Thai – Stir-fried Rice Noodles with Chicken, Scallions, Eggs, Bean Sprouts and Crushed Peanuts in a Sweet Sauce

These dishes balance the signature sweetness, mild spice and velvety sauces and curries for which Thai cuisine is noted. Your evening including dinner, taxes and tips is $30 for members or $32 for non-members and guests plus the bottle of wine you bring. Be sure to bring a bottle of $10-$15 wine to share. Casual attire. Park in the spacious lot.

Sunday, March 5, 6:00 – 10:30 p.m.
Hollywood Celebration Red Carpet Rendezvous
Cocktail Reception with Delicious Italian Cuisine and Award-watching at
Aldente Café and Lounge
1615 N. Clybourn Ave. (a little north of North Ave.) in Chicago’s Lincoln Park

Meet, mingle and socialize with other singles while enjoying the 2006 Awards Celebration for Hollywood’s best films at Aldente Cafe and Lounge. View the awards ceremony on two large screen TVs in the white tablecloth lounge area reserved for our party. There will also be contests and plenty of movie trivia.

Your evening celebration includes a cocktail party (cash bar) with $5 martini specials, and heavy appetizers/light dinner. Your appetizer buffet includes a variety of tasty Italian specialties from Chef Pierce’s kitchen:

• Wild Mushroom Crostini with Béchamel Sauce
• The Godfather’s Favorite – Italian Sausage and Peppers
• Farfalle “Uncle Oscar’s Tie” Pasta in a Rich Vodka Tomato Cream Sauce
• A Variety of Hollywood Creativity Pizzas

Your evening is $26 for members, non-members and guests, including heavy appetizers, contests and entertainment, taxes and tips for advance registrations. Walk-ups will also be accepted at the door for $27 (space permitting). Dressy cocktail attire. Lots of street parking in the area. Restaurant phone is 312-587-0055.

Sign up online for any party at www.gourmetadvocates.com/singlepage.html

Singles Notebook – “Get-Real” Thoughts and Opinions
from Jim “Senny” Senhauser

Increase Your Dating Possibilities By Leaving Behind
Old Habits and Attitudes

Today, I am going to share with you the single biggest way you can increase the number of available men and women you get to meet and choose from in a club like the Gourmet Advocates. The key is to break old attitudes and habits. I am not talking about giving up smoking or your love of fattening foods (though those changes usually couldn’t hurt). I am talking about letting go of some ideas about meeting new men and women, dating and relationships that simply are no longer realistic in today’s society, especially if you want to maximize your possibilities.

Let me explain what I mean by giving you some background.

As the president of this singles club, the second question that I get, especially from women, is what the relative percentages of men and women are at most events (the first is the age of the members). One can hardly blame women for asking the percentage question. It’s a fact that in all the mainstream singles organizations, women outnumber men. Our club is no exception. If a singles club tells you that they limit the number of women or that they have more male members, chances are they’re not telling the truth. And I seriously doubt if they would ever have this frank a discussion on the topic with you.

It’s easy to see that the advertising for most singles clubs is geared to males. One large video dating service has even run an Internet campaign utilizing well-known stock photos of female “girl next door” models, labeling them with captions like “Teri from Naperville,” as if these gorgeous women were part of their membership. Give me a break!

I remember once belonging to an unnamed “fix up” organization that promoted their service heavily with ads showing their perky female “directors.” This business promised to match me for dates with women who met the preferences and criteria that I set out in their thorough pre-screening questionnaire. Only later did I find out that most of the women were assigned 10-12 dates a year and that the men were sent on 3-4 times that many.

Now women reading this would probably say that such a ratio should be good for guys like me. In fact, the exact opposite was true. In reality there was absolutely no impetus on the service to fix me up with anyone who would interest me. They already had my large up-front fee. If they matched me with someone I liked, I’d be out of the “pool” of eligible males. So, they ignored my questionnaire and simply fixed me up with anyone female who needed her “date quota” filled.

There was absolutely no precision to their matches except gender. Even basic non-negotiable characteristics like geographic location and smoking preference were ignored. When it became clear what was happening, I requested a 10-minute session in their offices to meet the person who arranged the matches. I wanted to talk briefly with her on what I was looking for in a potential date. Because the director who interviewed me and sold me on the program was no longer with the service, no one on their current staff knew me beyond my picture and written profile. So, what I asked seemed quite reasonable. They turned my simple request down flat. I quit then and there!

With the Gourmet Advocates, most of our parties have a gender mix that is around 55% women/45% men. Occasionally a party attracts a large imbalance of women to men or vice versa. To avoid such imbalances either way, we call members or send follow-up E-mails to encourage them to come help even out the mix. That is one key reason that registering in advance rather than just walking up is so much preferred. At one recent party, 8 of the attendees were walkups, and 6 of those were female. Don’t get me wrong, we appreciate the business, but percentages like that make planning for balance next to impossible.

Why do singles clubs have more female members? The answer lies in our upbringing. Women are more “joiners,” while men often look to individual pursuits. Women by nature have been taught that their strength is in collaboration and sharing. Men, on the other hand, are encouraged to be competitive, even to the point of somehow marking their territory.

These outdated behaviors can manifest themselves even at the first party. Women often bring a girlfriend to their first event for support; guys rarely bring a buddy. If a woman likes the party and the club, she will tell lots of her female friends. This approach is fine and productive in the long term. More women bring out more guys.

On the other hand, in his first party, if a guy enjoys himself and likes the club, he will often congratulate himself on his ability to discover such a rare find, and keep it, at least for a while, as his “little secret.” From experience I can tell you that this male behavior is actually contrary to the guy’s objective. Telling more of his friends and bringing them out would actually result in more women attending and continuing to attend, creating a more permanent and larger selection pool. Guys have to learn to curb their competitive instincts. They need to realize that their main competition is not other guys, but is instead how they themselves relate to a woman on a personal level.

Keep in mind that the Gourmet Advocates is a relational club, where networking is the best way to meet and get to know others of both sexes. The person you want to meet may just be the girlfriend or buddy of the one you are talking to. The best way to find the guy or woman you are looking for is to be open and interested in the possibilities each of us offers. Don’t let old ideas about what is “proper” stand in the way. Dating today requires new attitudes and approaches.

Women too should consider a change in traditional behavior to increase the number of available men they could meet. I’m not proposing that women stop inviting their female friends. Instead, I’m suggesting that women start involving more of their male friends. After all ladies, who has greater knowledge of and access to those men who are actually interested in dating? Just because a guy was not the right chemistry for you does not mean that some other woman would not be thrilled to meet him. I would even go so far as to venture that one woman’s jerk is another woman’s hero.

In some cities, parties have even sprung up where the female participants cannot attend without bringing one of their former dates or male friends as an entry “ticket.” In my own case, when I started dating my ex-wife, she introduced her old boyfriend to her college roommate. Those two hit it off immediately, and unlike my ex and I, they are still married today!

Some women might be reluctant to adopt this change in behavior, somehow feeling that it might “cramp their style.” However, when you are talking about guys with any level of maturity, they will appreciate the gesture. I can tell you from personal experience that the kindest thing any former date ever did for me was to introduce me to other opportunities to meet new women. In the case of one of my former girlfriends, after it was clear that our relationship was going nowhere but the “friends” route, she brought me to a couple of singles clubs. In no time at all, it helped us both to meet other people and get back on our feet dating again! It was a compliment to me that she would think enough of me to help me reconnect with other women.

I would encourage each of you, men and women to begin to change your attitudes about the process of involving your friends in our club and its events. Why not reach out to others, especially to men, and invite them to attend AND TO JOIN? Everybody needs to feel a sense of relatedness, especially singles. Your buddy, the guy at the office, your former boyfriend, that guy you went out with a few times but didn’t click with—they’ll all appreciate the gesture.

Again, at the Gourmet Advocates, our objective is to make as many people in the Chicago area, that’s you and me, happy and fulfilled in all our social lives. That is how we individually and collectively grow and prosper.

Here’s to leaving old ideas, habits and attitudes behind and reaching out to help and involve all our friends.